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- What did the young witch say to her mother? Can1
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- 1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 24
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- How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ? '7
- Did you hear about the witch who turned her fr8
- What does an Australian witch ride on? A bro9
- What would you get if you crossed a witch with a 10
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- Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes, it's ver12
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Losowy SMS: Want to know how to amuse a blonde for hours? Write please turn over on both sides of the paper! . Want to know how to amuse a blonde for hours?
Write
please turn over on both sides of the paper! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(to): 100 . Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all
night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 110 . What do
you do when a blonde throws a
grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it
back! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 91 . Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
a solar powered
calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 111 . Q: How can you tell if a blonde has
been
using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 89 . Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to
make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 90 . Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give
in?
A: "Have another beer." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 79 . Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks
Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all
play for the Green Bay Packers? Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 148 . Q: What do blonds
and spaghetti have in
common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 92 . Q: Why was the blondes'
belly button sore
?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 89 . Q: How do you get a blond
out of a
tree?
A: Wave Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 53 . Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have
in
common?
A: They both have black roots. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 92 . Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What,
what? Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 48 . Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
a
computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a
computer once.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm
blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm
blonde, I'm blonde, yea
yea yea..." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 261 . Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat
hanger in
her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 105 . Q: Why did the blonde drive
into the
ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 76 . Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police
car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 113 . Q: Why
did the blonde get so excited after
she finished her jigsaw puzzle in
only 6 months?
A: Because on
the box it said From 2-4 years. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 146 . Q: How do you confuse a
blonde?
A: Ask
her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 77 . Q: Did you hear about the
blond
skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 71 . Q: What do you call four Blondes in a
Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 74 . Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So
brunettes can remember them. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 76 . Q: Why can't blondes put in light
bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 90 . Q: Did you hear about
the blonde
coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 112 . Q:
When does a brunette have 1/2 of a
brain?
A: After a dye job. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 69 . Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 111 . Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea
in the morning?
A: It swells at night. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 90 . Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that
90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 104 . A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is
cheating on
her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his
apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure
enough, when she
opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a
redhead.
She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a
moment.
Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun
up
to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do
it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 523 . A blonde walks up
to a Coke machine and
puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks
amazed and runs away
to get some more coins. She returns and starts
feeding the machine
madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out
drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a
few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have
a
go.
The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see
I'm
winning!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 481 . One morning this blonde calls her friend and
says, "Would you mind
coming over and helping me out with this killer
jigsaw puzzle I bought --
I can't figure out how to get
started."
Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"
"From the
picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the
blonde.
The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the
front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the
table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
Then, he
turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I
do, I'm not
going to be able to show you how to assemble these to
look like the
picture of the tiger on the box."
"Why not?"
asks the disappointed blonde.
"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw
puzzle... what you have here is a
box of Frosted Flakes." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(morning): 866 . A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on
an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the
beach and discover a
magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough,
out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three
wishes, you may each
have one."
The brunette says, "I've
been stuck here for years. I miss my family,
my husband, and my life.
I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and
she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've
been stuck here for years as well. I
miss my family, my husband, and
my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her
wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying
uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the
matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 870 . A blonde
is walking down the street with
her blouse open, exposing one of her
breasts.
A nearby
policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware
that I could
cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the
blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is
exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the
bus!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 392 . Q. Why was the blonde in the tree?
A.
Because she was raking up the leaves! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 78 . A blonde comes home from a
day of shopping
and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls
the fire
department on her cell phone.
"Please state the nature of your
emergency," says the operator.
"Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde
replies.
"Okay, where do you live?"
"In a house you silly billy!" the
blonde replies.
"No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks
fustratedly.
"Duh! Big Red Truck!!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 432 . One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney
Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned
around and went home. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 142 . A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk
if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and
says
that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes
her hair
black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks
the same thing and again
the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a
shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she
returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment,
this clerk
also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde
asks the clerk,
"How do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks
at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's
a
microwave." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 750 . A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning
storms?
Q. They think their picture is being taken. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 104 . A man was trimming his
bushes. His neighbor
(the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see
that it's
empty, and goes back inside.
Five minutes later, she comes back out,
checks her mail again only to
see that it's still empty, and goes
back in.
The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is
there a
problem?"
The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a
problem! My computer keeps
on telling me 'I've got mail'!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(man): 456 . Did you hear about the two
Blondes that
were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie
theater?
They went to see "Closed for Winter". Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 157 . Q. What is eternity?
A. When 4 blondes meet
at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection! Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 81 . Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a
box of cheerios?
A. Donut seeds. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 85 . Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed
blonde
out of a tree?
A. Wave at her. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 88 . A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided
to hire
herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a
wealthy
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and
asked the
owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can
paint my porch. How
much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How
about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her
that the paint and
other materials that she might need were in the
garage. The man's
wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said
to her
husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way
around the
house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short
time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered,
"and I
had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man
reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde a
dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a
Ferrari." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 1008 . A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.
When the
attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the
blonde,"I'm
sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you
please move to your
seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm
beautiful, and I'm going to
New York." The attendant said,"That's fine
miss, but you'll have to
go to your seat." The blonde responded
again, "I'm blonde, I'm
beautiful, and I'm going to New
York."
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.
The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him
about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the
blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her
seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn
blonde to move.
He said, "I just told her that this part of the
plane wasn't going to
New York." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 923 . Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off
a
building, who would hit the ground first?
A. The brunette
because the blonde would stop for directions. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 159 . Q. What is a brunette between two
blondes?
A. An interpreter. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 64 . Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her
shoes?
A. To remind her that "toes go in first." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 93 . One day a blonde,
red-head, and a brunette
were driving through the desert when all of a sudden
their car
broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization.
The
red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can
drink
it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so
if I
get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to
take
the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 460 . One
day there was a blonde riding a horse.
The horse kept going faster and
faster until the blonde fell off,
with her foot getting stuck in the
stirrup. Hearing her screams for
help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over
and turned off the
merry-go-round. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( day): 268 |
Internet na kryzys
Znamy założenia ustawy, która ma zapewnić Polakom bardzo szybki i powszechny internet. Po Nowym Roku projekt trafi na ministerialne biurka
E-stonia internetem stoi
W Estonii przez internet można załatwić praktycznie wszystko - wyrobić paszport, wypełnić PIT, zagłosować w wyborach. Od 2011 r. głosować będzie można też za pomocą telefonu komórkowego
W. Brytania - Transfery do Polski przez telefon komórkowy
Brytyjski Bank NatWest (National Westminster Bank Plc )zainaugurował w poniedziałek dla swoich polskich klientów nową usługę - możliwość dokonywania bezpłatnych przelewów pieniężnych do Polski za pomocą telefonu komórkowego.
Telekomunikacja Polska zapomniała, że jest narodowym operatorem
- Separacja TP SA sprawi, że inni operatorzy będą wreszcie traktowani jak partnerzy, a nie jak konkurenci, którym na siłę trzeba utrudniać życie - mówi w rozmowie z „Gazetą” Mirosław Godlewski, prezes Netii, największego alternatywnego operatora telekomunikacyjnego.
Losowy
- A man is fibbing away about how great things a1
- An English guy was very ill and his son went t2
- This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his 3
- Phoning the florist to order some flowers for 4
- Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his5
- A man was sitting in the electric chair. The e6
- Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Be7
- Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? 8
- Patient: "It must be tough spending all day wi9
- "I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge y10
- What does the dentist of the year get?...A lit11
- Why did the dentist make a poor date with the 12
- How many dentists does it take to change a lig13
- What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his t14
- Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a blood-sucking mon15
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Osób on-line: 2.
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- Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bera
!
Bera who ?
1
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Berlin
!
Berlin who2
- Knock Knock
Who's there
!
Bernadette !
Bernad3
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Bernie
!
Bernie who4
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Bert
!
Bert who ?
5
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Bertha
!
Bertha who6
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Beryl
!
Beryl who ?7
- Knock Knock
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Beth
!
Beth who ?
8
- Knock Knock
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Bethany
!
Bethany w9
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Betsy
!
Betsy who ?10
- Knock Knock
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Bette
!
Bette who ?11
- Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bette-lou
!
Bette-l12
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Who's there !
Bettina
!
Bettina w13
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Who's there !
Bhuto
!
Bhuto who ?14
- Knock Knock
Who's there !
Biafra
!
Biafra who15
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Who's there !
Bibi
!
Bibi who ?
16
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Bill
!
Bill who ?
17
- Knock Knock
Who's there !
Billy
Bragg !
Billy18
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Who's there !
Bing
!
Bing who ?
19
- Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bingo
!
Bingo who ?20
News
W. Brytania - Transfery do Polski przez telefon komórkowy
Brytyjski Bank NatWest (National Westminster Bank Plc )zainaugurował w poniedziałek dla swoich polskich klientów nową usługę - możliwość dokonywania bezpłatnych przelewów pieniężnych do Polski za pomocą telefonu komórkowego.
Telekomunikacja Polska zapomniała, że jest narodowym operatorem
- Separacja TP SA sprawi, że inni operatorzy będą wreszcie traktowani jak partnerzy, a nie jak konkurenci, którym na siłę trzeba utrudniać życie - mówi w rozmowie z „Gazetą” Mirosław Godlewski, prezes Netii, największego alternatywnego operatora telekomunikacyjnego.
Jest kryzys, będzie mniej kabli
Inwestycje na rynku telekomunikacyjnym będą spowalniać, a operatorzy raczej skupią się na utrzymaniu klientów niż na ich pozyskiwaniu - uważają analitycy Ernst & Young
Polkomtel bez Duńczyków
Duńskie TDC wyszło z akcjonariatu Polkomtela. Swój pakiet sprzedało za 726 mln euro.
UKE: TP dyskryminuje operatorów alternatywnych
Duńskie TDC wyszło z akcjonariatu Polkomtela. Swój pakiet sprzedało za 726 mln euro.
Pierwsze zatrzymania w niemieckiej aferze Deutsche Telekom
Niemiecka prokuratura aresztowała pierwszego podejrzanego o szpiegowanie kontaktów dziennikarzy i pracowników koncernu telekomunikacyjnego Deutsche Telekom. Jest nim były szef komórki do spraw bezpieczeństwa w Telekomie.